'Our aspirations are our possibilities."
This past week helped me grasp a lot of things I was unable to see due to pure ignorance. I realized that we don’t always have to be strong. Sometimes it is our strength that is expressed in vulnerability and that it is okay to fall apart in order to regroup ourselves and stay on track. I thought I was feeling belittled, I thought I was feeling oblivious towards, I thought I was being passed down like a bag of hand-me down clothes just waiting for the next available owner and much more. Not only then but I decided to take a couple days off for myself just to get my head together. Words were being thrown at one another like daggers and you can just tell, you can just tell that the minute it came out of our mouths - we regretted every single word because we simply couldn’t take it back after it had already been said. I realized a lot this past week though. I realized how truly blessed I am to have such a loving and supportive boyfriend who willingly stands by my side. It’s just that this past week, I realized that I seriously have the best boyfriend in the entire world and that I would never trade the bond we have for anything. Nothing at all.
- John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
I’m scared. I’m scared he’ll just get up without saying a word and never turn back.
I find it so weird how things are suddenly falling back in to place. It all happened out of no where and I really don’t how I should be feeling about it. I vow to put my guard up this time after had realizing that I can’t trust anyone anymore. The thing is with me, I forgive and forget so easily that people tend to take advantage of that and it’s not fair. Trust NO bitch Monica! In the end, if it’s what makes him happy, I should be there to support him 100% percent of the way. Although I must say, I am having doubts. That somehow he’ll be pressured, poisoned, manipulated in to thinking something and will do a complete 180. That he …. wouldn’t come back.
- John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
Sometimes I wish you would just grab me by the waist, look deep in to my eyes and say that you never want to let me go making me believe you tell no lies. Lately, I have been engrossed with forsaken thoughts that obscure my vision of what is right and what is wrong leaving me desolated in my own world with no one to turn to for help. Countless days go by and not one word is uttered out of your mouth. I often ask myself questions I regretfully ask just moments later and somehow these tears manage to always fall down the sides of my face. I’m quickly growing weary of having my thoughts on one corner of my heart’s map when I should be sharing my heart with the world. If only you cared.
It’s official! I officially changed majors the other day. You can now consider me a nursing major :)
Eh, after taking quarters off or taking 1 class a quarter I’m finally moving in the right direction. I don’t have that much left to go before I can start my CNA training. Did I mention how freaking expensive it was to do so? It’s all good in the hood - wait till I start making bank after I become a fully pledged nurse. Jkjk. I can’t wait to start doing some hands on training! EEK! Spring quarter, hurry up!
… because I’ve been thinking way too much; probably too much for me to even handle. Tomorrow I get to speak with an admissions adviser to talk about my academic path. I won’t exactly post what my plan is just yet because I want to make sure everything is 100% correct + positive before I give out any deets about it. I get to find out in about 12 hours! I’m super anxious and excited at the same time. I’m that much closer to accomplishing my goals!